The First Thing That Comes To Mind

What could this be? An attempt at a post, no doubt. But what to write? I feel the last few years have been filled with so much. I could pick anything, anywhere - anyone - and write.

I could start with myself, in my backyard, an hour ago, throwing a tennis ball (purple, in colour) into the air as high as I can, attempting to catch it on the descent.

The clouds were loud and grey, blue skies hid behind. A cold wind caught the ball and changed its trajectory.

For a few moments, at its peak, the ball looked as though it floated there hovering in the sky, and I couldn’t help but smile. I laughed a little, too. Music in my ears (literally, earphones playing gentle instrumentals).

I’m waiting for a friend to reply to a message. A couple friends, actually. Both are brothers! How lucky am I to have friends that are brothers - I also have brothers who are friends. Something about brothers, I suppose.

And a lovely sister who is like me (at the worst, too, unfortunately). My parents are good people. Too nice, at times. For their own good. Good people can be too good for their own good. That’s when you need the bad, but only a little.

I missed the ball a few times, as it fell. I walked a little in the backyard, cried a little. Full of emotions. Not sure why. But I also know exactly why. Something I’ve become good at - is knowing why. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so good at it. Other times I wish I was better - quicker - to catch the why before the hand fell on someone else.

Imagine being that ball in the sky. Maybe not the purple part (that would be interesting), but thrust into the air and for that moment, floating.

I’ve read the above once or twice now, and I think I’m done. I feel better. A little lighter in the chest. But, I’m still waiting for that friend. I wonder if I’ve pushed them away for good.